


The Gift of Creation

by Shuufleur



Series: Trope Bingo Fills [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Iron Man 1, Tony Stark-centric, Trope Bingo Round 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 21:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12567044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shuufleur/pseuds/Shuufleur
Summary: Tony's life through his creations.





	The Gift of Creation

**Author's Note:**

> For the _Art Initiates Life_ square of my Trope Bingo Round 9 card.
> 
> I hope you like it. :)

Howard Stark made sure Tony never partook in any artistic activities. According to him, such activities were useless as they did not serve a purpose. It did not solve technical problems or helped create new innovative weapons. Art didn’t serve business unless you were marketing for it. Art wasn’t banned in the Stark household per se but it certainly wasn’t encouraged. At the very least, Tony shouldn’t like art. “Art” was also contained to what Maria Stark liked, such as the piano and paintings.

Maria loved music. Once she confessed to a six year old Tony, she would have become a musician if it had been possible. When her son asked why she didn’t, she replied that her family was more important to her than gallivanting around the world to play the piano. Though she missed it, so to make up for it, she wanted to teach Tony because this way she could reunite two of her loves: music and her son.

Luckily, Howard was in a good mood that day and he agreed for Tony to take some lessons, saying it would probably teach him some discipline.

The lessons started and while Tony wasn’t as much of a fan of playing as his mother, it fascinated him. His mother was transformed when she played: it was like a light illuminated her, making her the center of the room. Her passion took over and Tony could only gape with awe at his mother’s dexterity.

So Tony started the piano, hoping to feel the same spark he saw in his mother. However, after months of playing, Tony still felt nothing more than the pleasant satisfaction that he succeeded in something else, yet again without much work. But there was no passion. The spark never came.

Bummed out by the revelation, little Tony thought he disappointed his mother, like he always disappointed his father. Somehow, she knew music wasn’t his true calling. When she realized what he was thinking, she quickly erased his doubts.

“Tony, my darling boy. You don’t have to love music for me to be proud of you. Do what you love, work for it, this is all I need. You couldn’t disappoint me.”

“Really?” Tony asked with a small voice.

For a moment, Maria Stark looked sad. She then smiled and lovingly cupped Tony’s face with her hands.

“Really, sweetie.”

Tony knew music wasn’t his passion, but he didn’t stop the piano lessons. It made his mother happy. Jarvis, the butler, always said how nice it was to see both of them enjoying each other’s company.

For a while, Tony still looked for his passion. Between trying to please his father with technical and mechanical prowess and school, the little boy was nowhere near an answer to his burning question.

A couple of years later, Jarvis made an offhand comment, after Howard had yet again found Tony’s work lacking in various areas. Tony didn’t remember well what he said exactly but it went along the lines of “Your eyes are shining when you have an idea and implement it. It is amazing.”

Realization hit him like freight train. He hadn’t thought of it because it was so normal for him: inventing was his passion and engineering his means to do it. From then on he tried to work harder and harder on this, as much for Howard as for himself.

When he was sent to boarding school, it allowed him to start thinking about what he wanted. His father’s blueprints acted like his drawing paper and the technical pen like his brush. But when he went on the actual building, Tony became a sculptor. He needed to think up various ways he could to make the method more efficient, restarting every time he thought it wasn’t good enough. Then he started to learn programming. When he did he felt like poet: writing up code, inserting comments, adding various add-ins. It had to be correct or it wouldn’t work.

He could only practice and test his theories during the weekends when he came home and Howard wasn’t working on confidential projects. Luckily, at that time his father still went regularly in the Arctic to look for Captain America, so Tony was free to use his father’s lab as much as he wanted to.

He went to secondary school then high school. He was younger than anyone. He had no friends because no one wanted to befriend the rich genius kid. This was when he created Dum-E, his first A.I..

Dum-E was supposed to be a helping bot. However, reality didn’t match theory. Tony told himself he would do an overhaul of the code one day. But he never did. He solved some glitches, added new functions, created connections so that Dum-E could learn new things on his own. When the bot started to act like a pet, always thrilled to see Tony, using his beeps as communication, Tony didn’t have the heart to rewrite the code.

He realized that it would make him disappear, and just the thought of it made him want to cry. So he kept Dum-E as he was, as his only friend.

Of course, Howard wasn’t impressed by Dum-E, just like he hadn’t been impressed by the circuit board he built when he was four, or the engine when he was six. To him, it was just a useless piece of junk. He took it as if Tony made the bot to _spite_ him. Why would the great Howard Stark be awed by a stupid mechanical arm that didn’t even really obey well its creator. Tony didn’t insist. There was no point in arguing. He knew his father, and he certainly couldn’t tell him that he created Dum-E because he felt lonely.

_Stark men are made of iron._

And Tony was the Stark Heir. He needed to look the part. Do as I say and do not ask questions, were Howard’s favorite words after that famous statement. It didn’t, however, stop Tony.

He went to college, and as soon as he had free time, he continued to think about AIs, and building new bots. Dum-E was lonely when Tony was in class or when he was focused on his work in the lab. He needed a companion.

In a way, Tony was also building himself friends. He was too young, too “genius” for the other students. He wasn’t interesting for them. It hurt. He wanted so desperately to be accepted that he tried to tell a few people about Dum-E, and his projects on AIs.

People didn’t react as he’d hoped. They trashed Dum-E, almost forcing Tony to recode him from scratch. Luckily, he didn’t have to. Everything was fine after that, or so he thought.

Maybe he got a little drunk (they just kept giving him drinks, and he wanted to be liked). Maybe he talked a little bit of Stark Industries. Maybe there was some confidential subjects thrown in. He didn’t really remember, and he was so upset that Dum-E got hurt in the process, he hadn’t even _suspected_ what would happen.

Howard didn’t like that at all. When some other companies suddenly found the method/component/strategy Stark Industries tried to implement, Howard had been furious. Tony bare the brunt of it.

After his “scolding”, Tony came back to school to find that everyone wanted to be his friend. They invited him to parties, gave him alcohol, some tried to tempt him with a joint or two, and he’d say yes. From then on, he started to sneer and take people for imbeciles (which, compared to him, they were). It worked. And he never spilled any more company secrets.

It was during one of his binge drinking party that he decided to build U. He didn’t exactly remember building him. He came home at 4am, drunk, and blacked out. When he woke up 10 hours later, there was a functioning bot and he had no recollection of the night. Shrugging it away like he had started to do for every other things in his life, he continued as if nothing noteworthy happened.

U was actually the bot who introduced him to Rhodey. The little idiot was able to get out of Tony’s dorm room, and Rhodey stumbled upon that stupid bot who didn’t even remember where he came from.

He was lucky that Tony had, in an inebriated state, taped up a paper with his initials on the bot’s strut. Rhodey knew who he belonged to so he brought it back to Tony.

When he saw Rhodey with U, Tony’s first reaction was anger.

“What the fuck are you doing with him? Don’t touch him!” Rhodey raised his hands, in a calming manner. Tony walked between the young man and U. The bot beeped questioningly, and Tony patted him on the arm.

“Come on, get inside,” He said softly, nudging the arm towards his dorm room. U clicked and whirred before obeying him.

“Wow, he’s cool.” the other young man commented.

“Don’t!” Tony whirled towards him.

“What were you doing to him?”

Rhodey shook his head.

“Nothing, man. It- He,” he amended when Tony glared at him. “He was just walking down the corridor. Didn’t tell me why, though.” His lips twitched, amused. Tony frowned, and relaxed a little bit when he realized that the other student was sincere. He sighed.

“Fine, ok. Thanks, I guess.” Tony said grudgingly.

“Yeah, no worries,” Rhodey waved. “Since he’s safe now, I’m gonna go. See ya.”

He flashed a smile at Tony before leaving him alone in the corridor.

(later he printed U’s name directly along the arm. He did the same with Dum-E, you’re never too careful with those bots)

After Rhodey’s rescue of U, Tony started to see more of the other young man. As they got to talk more between those chance meetings (Rhodey was in ROTC, which means he was _crazy._ Just Tony’s type), they got closer and Tony could genuinely appreciate Rhodey. He wasn’t after Tony’s intelligence, or the Stark’s fame, or his money. It was a nice change of pace. What was more, Rhodey really seemed to like Tony’s science. He told him it was amazing (not in fake way some of his “friends” said it), that his little robots were just stuff coming out from Sci-Fi books.

Years later, when Tony thought about he and Rhodey’s first meeting, he would always remember that it was U who allowed it. Without U, he wouldn’t have met one of the best friends he could possibly wish.

Life at college continued more or less smoothly for Tony Stark. People came and went, paparazzi started to get interested in Tony, and Howard let him work on more SI projects thanks to his partner, Obadiah Stane.

Tony had Rhodey, his bots, and the lab. Everything was perfect. He passed his bachelor in a breeze. The masters was unbearably easy. Passing the PhDs proved Tony that college could finally be a little challenging, if only because he would do his own research without nosy professors.

It allowed him to further his research on AIs and how it could benefit everyone. This was the time he started the biggest project of AI he ever imagined. He wanted to create an AI, similar to Dum-E and U’s systems but much more advanced. He wanted this AI to sound/act as humanly possible. It was a work of trials and errors but Tony was pretty sure he was getting somewhere: this project had a future. He tried to talk to Howard about his AI, but as usual if it wasn’t about weapons or something profitable, Howard shot it down. Stane wasn’t better, he had just more tact than Howard.

Tony had decided then he would continue on his own. Doing the work alone wasn’t difficult. Tony preferred working alone in the lab, as there was no one who could bother him (either because they didn’t appreciate the hours Tony spent in there or because they were too dumb to understand it). But this project was everything to him, apart from SI, and he felt the need to talk to someone about it. Not to ask for advice, but more about asking rhetorical questions, bouncing off ideas and see if he wasn’t crazy. As usual, Edwin Jarvis was there for him when he needed him, so Tony word vomited his project to a smiling Jarvis. He didn’t expect any answers from the older man, it took him by surprise when the butler said: “I’m sure you’ll succeed. You were always creative in your inventions, Tony.”

Embarrassed (unused) by the compliment, the teenager shrugged, saying it was nothing. Jarvis patted him on the shoulders and went back to work.

Tony graduated from MIT at 17, with Dum-E as his project. That same year, he started another PhD.

At 18, he started to officially work for SI. He earned money while still being able to work on his personal projects. Stane also became a kind of surrogate father, because even though Howard stopped looking for Captain America, he still didn’t feel like being a father to his son. Stane was there more on the business side, but he was _there._

Everything was going fine.

At 19, he met Sunset Bain. He thought she was the one.

She wasn’t.

He met Ty Stone.

That was such a mistake.

At 20, he and Howard were more apart than ever. Tony wanted to diverge from all the weapon manufacturing, maybe Howard could assign him a department, so that he could try to-

“No, Tony, don’t be ridiculous. It isn’t profitable.”

Obie didn’t help.

“As much as I want to support you, your father is right. It could put the company in jeopardy. Maybe later, when you have more experience in the business.”

Obie smiled at him fatherly, squeezing his shoulder.

“Alright. I’ll wait.”

He couldn’t fucking wait.

He was 21 when he lost both his parents in a car accident.

It was on 17 December 1991. Tony heard the bell, and decided to bury himself in the covers. Jarvis would answer the door. A few minutes later, Jarvis came knocking at his door.

“Master Tony, you should come down.”

Tony wanted to protest but Jarvis’s voice was weird, he sounded almost on the verge of crying. Worried for his butler, Tony opened his door.

“What is it?” he asked, pretending to be annoyed and not showing he was taken aback by Jarvis’s pallor and the slight tremors in his hands.

Jarvis blinked back tears.

“Master Tony, your parents were in a car accident last night.”

Numb, Tony asked, “What?” But he didn’t hear the words Jarvis’ mouth were forming. He read them and his world crashed.

Drunk driving. Car rammed into a tree. Fatal. Deceased.

(Later, when Tony thought about this moment he would laugh until he couldn’t.)

Tony became CEO. He launched himself into work, alcohol and one night stands.

He stopped playing the piano. For several months, it was bad. He felt bad. He felt like throwing up (was it because of the alcohol or his parents’ death). But with Jarvis and Stane’s help, Tony could finally function more or less normally. Coffee would replace a bit of alcohol, and managing Stark Industries cut a little of his time for one night stands. Time passed and Tony still had trouble managing his life. Jarvis was getting older, and Obie had other things to do than babysit his late partner’s son. So Obie decided to hire him a personal assistant. The first one didn’t last the week. The second was a little more patient but in the end, Tony chased her off after two months.

One day, Stane introduced him to a beautiful redhead. Tony leered, winked and made a pass at her. She flushed slightly (delightfully), frowning and told Tony off.

“Mr. Stark, I assure you that I’m perfectly professional. I do not condone this sort of behavior.”

Tony was a bit stunned, but he recovered quickly. He bet her she wouldn’t last the month. She had a glint in her eyes when she answered, “We’ll see Mr. Stark.”

26 years later, she was still here.

Life was… good. Better. Tony had everything he wanted: SI, people who cared about him (Jarvis, Obie, Rhodey, even Pepper). SI’s stocks were back up again, Obi was happy and their weapons never sold better.

Life was really good.

Tony partied every other night, slept with whoever was willing, drunk a bottle of vodka.

He always passed his mother’s piano when going to bed. He made him sick so he covered it up. The next morning, with an hangover, he asked Jarvis to put it in storage.

“Are you sure Master Tony?” the old butler asked, stubbornly keeping at calling him “Master”.

“I’m sure. Come on Jarvis, don’t make me wait.”

The look he sent Tony before agreeing made him feel guilty. He never talked like that to Jarvis. The man had always been more of a father than Howard ever was. But since his parents’ death, something changed. He wasn’t the same person. He wasn’t a _kid_ anymore. He was an adult, and adults were assholes, right?

A few months later, Jarvis fell ill. He had to stay in bed for an unforeseeable time. When he died, Tony had been smashing drunk at some party of a guy he didn’t know.

He didn’t even say goodbye.

Guilty, lonely, Tony look at the AI project he had been working on for so long. He executed it and waited as lines of codes scrolled on the screen.

“Hello?” Tony tried when the program had completed.

“Hello,” answered the AI.

A thrill of excitement went through Tony.

“Do you know where you are?”

A slight pause.

“I am located in New York, Manhattan, in the United States, Earth, at 40°46'38.8"N 73°57'26.3"W.”

“That’s right.” Tony crowed, proud. “Do you know who you are?”

The AI paused longer.

“I do not understand your input.”

“What is your name?”

“My id_name is justaratherveryintelligentsystem.”

“So what’s your name?”

“I do not understand your input.”

Tony sighed, but he wasn’t annoyed.

“Your name is Just A Rather Very Intelligent System. In short, you are JARVIS.”

He sucked a breath after saying this name. He hadn’t expected the sucker punch it gave him.

“I’m Tony Stark, your creator.”

“Hello, Tony Stark, my creator. My name is JARVIS.”

He smiled sadly.

His ultimate creation.

When JARIVS grew, and Tony did too. When JARVIS learned, Tony did too. It felt weird to be responsible for someone, something that could learn. Tony settled in a routine. He worked for SI, helped Stane schmooze investors and the military. Having Rhodey in the Air Force was a plus, and Stane was all over it. Pepper stayed, and what’s more she did more than Tony would have expected from her.

Life was good. The money came in, Tony partied whenever he wanted. People hated him, loved him, admired him. It was perfect. Or so he thought.

Then, there was Afghanistan, and the Ten Rings. That cave had broken a man, it had broken Tony Stark, the most eligible bachelor but it also built something else. Someone else. Tony built the Iron Man in the cave. Yes, it was impressive because he only had his _own_ weapons at his disposal (Stark Missiles, Stark sniper rifles, Stark handguns, all top of the line).

In that cave, Tony Stark died, but Iron Man was born. In that cave, Yinsen died, but Tony swore his death wouldn’t be in vain.

It was the best and the worst time.

It was the best time because Tony realized how long he had been asleep, letting his company fall between the cracks of stocks and the military.

It was the worst time because Tony had to be kidnapped to see it. He had had to have the wool over his eyes taken away so violently that he was now living with shrapnel in his chest.

In the desert, half-stumbling, half-running in the sand, thinking this was going to be his demise, he vowed that he was going to be better. He was going to stop everything. Yinsen died because of him. His family died because of STARK weapons. There was something he could do.

When the US helicopter came in view, and Rhodey jumped to meet him, he already had a plan. He knew what to do, and he was going to do it.

Pit stop in Germany, then straight home. Tony relaxed on the tarmac, unconsciously feeling better now that he was on American soil.

He also felt better because he had taken his decision, after waking up in that military hospital in Germany. He may have been delirious in the desert, but he had been onto something. He was going to shut down the weapons manufacturing of SI. At least, for enough time to find out how these weapons were smuggled out and given to terrorists.

Pepper, Rhodey, and Obie were there to tell him he was crazy to do that. Then, he went home.

“Welcome home, sir.” JARVIS told him, and he could cry at the familiarity.

“I missed you buddy.”

“You too, sir.”

He was home, but there was nothing. Nothing important. There were his cars, there were his inventions (his weapons). He didn’t want to make weapons anymore. He felt jittery, he wanted to do something. He wanted to protect people from his weapons. He needed to do something. Anything that wouldn’t take months with lawyers, investigations, tests, and approvals. But he was only human, right. If he had been Captain America, he would do it in a heartbeat, and maybe Yinsen would still be alive (and maybe his father would have loved him more). He wasn’t a super soldier, however he was genius. If he could come up with an armoured suit in a cave, he would do so much more in his lab.

The fact that the board thought he needed rest helped him. He remembered what he lived, he didn’t need to relive it again and again and again. He needed to do something or he would fall and never get back up. So he worked hours, days, weeks to get the first iteration of the Iron Man suit.

It was a thing of beauty. JARVIS didn’t say it in as so many words, but Tony knew he was impressed. U and Dum-E were mostly curious, beeping excitedly when JARVIS would show the holographic blueprints of the flying armor.

The first time Tony saw the results of he and JARVIS’s work, it truly was magnificent. Feeling the alloy under his fingers, smelling the metal, it moved him. Because unconsciously, he built himself an armor that looked like a knight. He wanted so badly to be a hero after all the bad he did, that it reflected on his creation.

The suit’s eyes lit up, and Tony took a deep breath.

That first test run was such an adrenaline rush. He never felt like this before. It was incredible. He was invincible. People liked him because he saved them, not because he was a drunk billionaire with more mistakes than sense. But now, he could be better. He could become better. He was better.

The kidnapping, the torture, it could almost make it worth it when he was flying in his suit.

But Obie - Stane - had to destroy everything Tony thought he knew.

Admitting he was the one to put the hit on Tony, taking his arc reactor from his chest, trying to kill him at that factory, it shook Tony at his core. He realized that he could only be served by himself. He trusted Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy, but not for everything. Not now. Maybe not ever.

Iron Man was his redemption, and Stane, even dead, wouldn’t stop that.

In a way, he could thank the man: without his attempted murders (three times that Tony had been aware of), he never would have changed. He never would have become a better man.

After his vision of the wormhole and the spaceships, so big, much bigger than anything the Earth had or could possibly have, he realized they were so overwhelming unprepared for space and aliens. While aliens had lightyears of advanced technology, humanity only scratched the surface of space travel. It scared him, because he wanted to protect the Earth but they were so woefully weak, they wouldn’t survive if aliens decided they wanted of piece of Earth. He needed to do something. Even with Captain America and the Hulk, they needed something stronger than them, who could be at different places at the same time.

Tony wanted to create JARVIS 2.0 to protect the world. It was only the first stages. He had to be careful, so as not to bring out something worse. He knew his subject. He had been studying AIs since his was a kid. He knew what to do, what to code. Everything was fine, there was no doubt.

Tony trusted the technology, but he forgot not to trust his brain. And sometimes, when fear took over, it created monsters.

Ultron, the murder bot. The Merchant of Death created an evil murder bot, how was that ironic?

And when he looked at the consequences (JARVIS was _lost_ / Sokovia was _destroyed_ / his soul was _unredeemable_ ), he realized that he was as much capable of good as he was capable of bad.

He thought that the Iron Man suit redeemed him in some way, but maybe he was just disillusioning himself: he wasn’t a hero, he was just trying to be one. Cap had been right. As Ultron said, Tony Stark was his creator, and he acted that way because of Tony. His brain was dangerous, he knew that. He was one of the most brilliant minds on Earth. It just hadn’t come to mind that _he_ would the villain.

He always knew his company, even Iron Man, was stained with blood and death, but he never, _never_ expected so much innocent blood.

He couldn’t stop, he didn’t want to stop protecting the world. He had privatized world peace, and it wasn’t enough. But maybe there was something else he could do. Something that could avoid another catastrophe like Sokovia.

Months passed, Tony quit the Avengers so that he could focus on his project. Then Ross came knocking with the Accords, and it all went to pieces.Tony hadn’t been able to stop it. If they fought internally like that, how could they actually beat an alien invasion?

Even before Sokovia, Tony had been looking for new members. The Avengers were a too small team to be able to take care of every threats of Aliens, witches, and other crazy scientists. They needed more members, and a roster. He saw some promising heroes already doing work in the streets: that Daredevil guy, the invincible black man, the strong woman. He also went looking for an ex-Air Force pilot, a colleague Rhodey thought of, who apparently survived an explosion. There was also this kid in pajamas who was swinging around town, actually helping little old ladies crossing the streets and getting cats from trees.

In the end, he couldn’t find Colonel Carol Danvers, Daredevil was apparently dead, and Luke Cage and Jessica Jones had refused, citing they already had a team.

(“The Defenders,” Tony snorted. “Right. Well, if you need anything, call.”

“No thanks Stark,” Jones answered drily, “We’re fine without your rich grubby hands.”)

The kid in the pjs was the only one left, and he really was a kid.

Going to Germany with him may have been a wrong idea.

After the Sokovia Accords fiasco, Tony was de facto back as an Avenger. Now, he really needed to look for new recruits, with only three Avengers actually living in the Compound. They wouldn’t last long, even with Spider-Man with them. So Tony looked for other people, people who would be willing to work with him. He knew, now more than ever, that people didn’t trust him. Sure, they trusted him more than Captain America, after Steve’s actions, but it didn’t mean anything.

Any mistakes could be the end of the Avengers, the engineer was aware of that. Since Rhodey still had to do some physical therapy with his new leg braces, and Vision was more or less here (he told hims he was still learning “humanity”), Tony was basically the only Avenger currently active. It made him realize that he couldn’t do it alone.

So, yes, he brought a 14 year old teenager with him to a fight against Captain America. Yes, he misjudged the righteousness of Mr. Do-as-I-Say, and yes, it could’ve gone so much worse. With FRIDAY in his ears, telling him how Peter was faring after that hit, he started to think of ways to protect the kid. It only hit him after Siberia, after getting the crap beaten out of him. He thought himself stupid for not thinking it before. He knew what to do. He knew how he could help Peter without being there all the time.

Of course, the kid wouldn’t know about everything, but at least it would calm down a bit Tony’s anxiety. He chose one of the AIs, one of the more recent ones he created but didn’t give a name yet. That way, Peter could create a real relationship with the AI. He installed it in the new Spider-Man suit, gave the suit to Peter, and waited with bated breath.

The kid loved it. He asked her how he could call her, and Karen seemed to have taken a shine to the young man. Much like Tony. She protected him, and Tony could breathe easier at the knowledge. 

Now, when Thanos was more than tangible, when he thought back at his life, how it set him to do certain things, how he made mistakes (some irreparable, some horrible, some unforgivable), he realized that there was at least one thing he was good at: protecting the people he loved no matter what. He could make the sacrifice play, even if it meant being the bad guy. Ultron and the Sokovia Accords had been a shitstorm, but he learned valuable lessons by these two events: no one was ever prepared enough, fear made him make mistakes, and some people were going to betray you when things didn’t go their way.

Thankfully, Extremis was there to help him now. He tweaked it a little bit, so that it was connected to his new armor.

No more embarrassing emotions, just the cold hard facts.

He watched his black and gold armored suit literally bleed out of his skin to form around him. The repulsor whined, shining bright, and Tony closed his fist.

Thanos came knocking at the wrong door.


End file.
